We would love it if everyone came in to support the opening of our business. We're hoping to see all your wonderful faces! We will also have a variety of food choices, like chips and a variety of dips, chicken kabobs, and a lot more. We will also be serving alcoholic drinks such as beer and mixed drinks of your choice along with non-alcoholic drink such as colas, water, and juices for the kids if you bring them. Please feel free to bring your children, we will be sure to have entertainment for them as well! We will have a movie station set up, we will have toys in the back area set up. Also for the kids we will have a raffle set up just for kids. Some prizes for that will be gift cards to Toys R Us, hot wheels, and some cute stuffed animals for girls.
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• Your heading could be more creative, like, Punch and Kick Your Way to Our Open House
ReplyDelete• Open House should be capitalized, it's an event
• "Our doors open at 5 pm October 1st and we close the doors at 9 pm" - Join us Saturday, October 1, 2016, 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. (Never 'st' and always a day of the week and year)
• "Some activities we will have are a raffle, and Kilkomat glove boxing game, who every punches the hardest by the end of the night wins a prize!" - A few exciting activities include a . . .
• Don't end every sentence with a !
• "We would love it if everyone came in to support the opening of our business. We're hoping to see all your wonderful faces!" - This is about you and your business, all readers care about is what is in it for them.
• "variety of food choices and alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks" - list out foods
• "Please feel free to bring your children, we will be sure to have entertainment for them as well!" - what kind of activities will you have for them? The food and activities will determine if I can attend with my family.
• "Don't forget, 5 pm to 9 pm on October first! First 20 people in the get the free two weeks!" - Not necessary.
One space is required between paragraphs.