It's that time of year again, we're having out
annual fall sales! Our sales are for our gloves, t-shirts, sweat pants, and even our memberships! On
November 9, 2016 our sale end on Novermber 10, 2016 at 6:30pm, so be sure to come in and get what you can. We at Dagz Kickboxing and Fitness understand that depending on the type of membership you choose it can be kind of expensive. So that why we do this annual sale in the
spring and
fall. Along with this annual fall sale, this year we will be doing something new, a raffle!
For the raffle, the only way you can enter is if you buy at least $30 worth of merchandise or if you sign up for a different membership package! We will select 3 winners for our top secret prizes! Come on in get your work out on, then come on into the store front to get your shop on! Don't forget to check out social media accounts for updates on the raffle, what the new challenges for the members are and just to see what's going on with the gym!
First sentence: *our* not "out"
ReplyDeleteThird sentence: Add in "This sale starts on"
Fourth sentence: Take out "We at"
Fifth sentence: *That's* not "that"
Add links to your social media pages or other pages that will provide value to your customers.
Best headline ever! Snort laugh. Andrew's critiques are spot on.
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